Ivan and Ravis in the land of Oz
by Pendantic Dandelion
Summary: Ivan and Ravis find themselves in the land of Oz. Despite the random musical numbers and the technicolor, Ivan seems to be making himself at home. Can Ravis return to the real world? Or will Ivan force him to stay in this place as well?
1. Chapter 1: Kirkland Must Die

**Summary:** Ivan and Ravis find themselves in the land of Oz. Despite the random musical numbers and the technicolor, Ivan seems to be making himself at home. Can Ravis return to the real world? Or will Ivan force him to stay in this place as well?

**Disclaimer:** England dies, America is not the hero, Ivan is afraid of musical numbers and other crapalistic shtuff. If you can open your mind, then you should be fine. (Opening the mind is usually required to enjoy Hetalia any way). Hetalia, of course, does not belong to me.

**Author's Notes**: This is my first fictions writing in a VERY long while! This was pretty much inspired by some crack RP where the thought was born to turn Ivan into Dorthy... Naturally, this didn't work out as planned. x3  
-Be fore warned, again, you favorite characters may be warped out of their usual niches. However, I still think they're still pretty IC.  
Ratings and comments are greatly appreciated!

Dedicated to Molly, who I think still fails to realize that I'm just as much as a hopeless Hetalia fan-nerd as she is. xD

* * *

**Chapter 1- Kirkland Must Die**

"Russia! Are you dead? Should I leave you here? I'm not even sure where I am so even if I left, I couldn't-"

"I live, Ravis."

"Oh! ...Oh, I'm so glad..."

Even if the windows of the heavier SUV were tinted, the sharp contrast from blinding white snow drift to blinding vibrant technicolor was more than enough to wake the Ruski. The car was twisted and mangled, but apparently, they came out okay.

"This is why Russia never rides German car..." he declared, sitting up as he rubbed his head.

"Where are we...?"

"Children ask too many questions," Ivan quickly reprimanded him, "If I knew where we were, you would know too, wouldn't you?" or rather, Ravis would pretend to know just so he wouldn't have to ask Russia. In hindsight, he wondered why he had even asked in the first place. Regardless, so overwhelmed by the colors, it took the both of them to gather the nerve to work the door.

"_MON AMOUR_! HE IS DEAD! YOU CADS!" as they opened the door to a blond gentleman dressed in a bright blue and red tailored suit. The hop hat he had been wearing had tumbled onto the golden asphalt, as well as his cane with the rooster's head.

The two stared at the man, who was crumpled on the ground before the door, in utter silence. It was only Ravis, the little corn silk haired Lativan, who finally spoke up to address him. Ivan, the white haired wall of a man, had gleefully stepped over the Frenchman to take in all of the vibrant colors and sounds of the busy street. Apparently, they had landed right in the middle of town square and all of the towns people were wandering up to see the commotion.

"Jallo! I am Russia! You look awfully familiar..."

"-I have never seen you before aru. -Where is the king aru?" the (housewife) in the quipao yelled.

"The king? "

"The Witch King! We have been forced to live here with all of his magical creatures for ages! What I wouldn't give to be back home- aru- where neither the colors nor the fairies keep me up at night~..." as he rubbed his forehead.

"THE KING IS DEAD DA-ZE!" in a booming voice, as one of the locals happened upon the high heeled feet sticking out from underneath the German car.

* * *

"-You see, we didn't... erm, mean too?" Ravis was never adept at comforting others, the small boy was patting the sobbing gentleman on the back. It was just then that the booming voice assaulted the ears of the entire street and everyone had quickly gathered to the scene in a flurry of questions.

It was then, however, that the richly dressed gentleman sat up, his eyes wide and brimming. It was actually enough to the shock the little Latvian.

"KING ARTHUR'S CURSE HAS BEEN LIFTED! REALITY IS RESTORED!" he declared, the group around the two new comers ecstatic with excitement; so much so, they had broken into song.

While little Ravis just seemed confused by the whole ordeal, Ivan looked positively horrified. How did all these little Asians know the words?

"Thank you so much!" the Frenchman exclaimed, capturing Ravis, and eventually Ivan when he retreated to scoop up his little ward.

"I thought you loved-"

"_Non, mon petite_. -Though I did love him, his eccentric need to control everything and impose fairy laws upon us all was getting quite stale. I have many loves and passion for everyone, I shall live and remember him as he once was..."

"...Right. We leave now, da?" since the singing natives dancing in circles around them was a little unnerving.

"Unfortunately, my lover's magic is quite strong, and only someone with his shoes may leave this town."

"Then we take his shoes, then! As payment for killing him," Ivan exclaimed, beaming and shoving away from the particularly huggy Frenchman.

Hunkering down, he had proceed to wrench the shoes off the cooling corpse as standard procedure. However...  
"...Russia does not wear _high heels_..."

"Oh... Well? A relative might work... Kaoru! Be a dear!" as the Frenchman seemingly summoned one of the bushier browed Asians from the group; one that was pointedly neither dancing nor singing.

"Yes Uncle?"  
"Remove your slippers and give them to this man so that he may leave. "  
"But-" however the look that the larger white haired behemoth gave him was enough to force his ears to ring... or was that sound coming from him?

* * *

"Da! Thank you for the shoes!" as he dragged Ravis behind him. Apparently, peons normally didn't wear shoes in that place any way and they could go about where ever their master's pleased. Ravis himself wasn't sure what to make of this corollary but he didn't complain; he didn't want to wear some English Queen's heels either.

"Wait! Don't you want to know how to get back to your world, strangers?"

"No time! I don't want to sit through another verse of singing!" Russia yelled behind him as Ravis flailed worthlessly in his arms. How on earth were they going to get home if they didn't know the way?

* * *

**Author's Notes**: Didn't I warn you?

Why is Ivan afraid of their singing? Think about it, wouldn't you be too? It's like they rehearsed it...

If there are any questions, I'll gladly answer them! I've been told I'm notorious for subtlety that no one picks up on in my writings. ^^; So please, please PLEASE- feel free to catch me on it.


	2. Chapter 2: If I only had your heart

**Summary:** Ivan and Ravis find themselves in the land of Oz. Despite the random musical numbers and the technicolor, Ivan seems to be making himself at home. Can Ravis return to the real world? Or will Ivan force him to stay in this place as well?

**Disclaimer:** Lithuania is... simple. Poland is a crow (or a furry? Feathery? -Whatever), there is talk of Ukraine's 'beets' and other crapalistic shtuff. If you can open your mind, then you should be fine. (Opening the mind is usually required to enjoy Hetalia any way). Hetalia, of course, does not belong to me. Again, you favorite characters may be warped out of their usual niches. However, I still think they're still pretty IC.

**Author's Notes**: Chapter 2! Written mostly under the influence of lace tea and jack daniels. Enjoy. Fyi, I'm not sure if the part with the farmer is unnecessary back story or not. Could someone review that bit for me? It would be greatly appreciated.

Dedicated to Molly, who I think still fails to realize that I'm just as much as a hopeless Hetalia fan-nerd as she is. xD

* * *

**Chapter 2**: If I only had your heart, I would know what my brain is feeling.

As they left the town's square, it became clear why everyone was trapped in the technicolored villa.

There was a massive expanse seperating them from the rest of the world. But as they approached, the red oriental slippers glowed, causing the golden road that they were walking on to materialize like a bridge over the expanse.

"...We continue following the road then," Ivan easily sumrized.  
"-But where exactly are we going? Don't you want to go home?" granted, as Latvia rose the question, the look there after made him reconsider asking it.

"We get home eventually. Don't you enjoy my company Ravis?"

"Ah ha...-There goes a vegetable garden! Maybe we can pick something to eat for the road. At least I don't eat much," ceasing up a bit at the statement, "-I mean! Of course you don't eat much either! -B-but, Idunnoyoumay- because your bigger than me... But not fat! I-"

"They won't mind if we take," though the subsequent expression was growing darker, cueing the little latvian to run ahead and snag a few beets for them both.

* * *

"Your, like, a scarecrow- amIrite?"  
"Yea..."  
"Well whats more scary to a crow then a garden with no food?"  
"Well..." the brown haired Lithuanian doll began, "I think I'm supposed to keep you from taking the food."  
"Listen, you stand out here day and night because that grodey farmer makes you."  
"Well, yea, but it's my job-"  
"And who else keeps you company? Who is your ONLY friend in the world? -And without me you'd be all alone out here."  
"...You sort of answered your own questions-"  
"So that makes even more reasons why you should _totally _trust my advice. "  
"Well, fine. But this is the last time."  
"...Like, who are they?" the blond, and clearly polish, crow pointed; interupting their exchange.

There was a lad, in plum colored hoody, stumbling hurriedly through the fields and picking vegetables. So tousled, he didn't even notice the conversation between the scarecrow and his feathered friend. Feeling ignored, however, the crow puffed up an went bouncing towards the boy, who was snatching up beets.

"You boy! This is our garden! You can't steal from here!" thoroughly surprising the already jumpy lad. Ravis fell into the dust, clutching a few of the gritty beets to his chest as the crow picked and scratched at him in attempt to evict him from the garden.  
"Your stealing..." the scarecrow puttered thoughtfully as he wandered up, although he was thoroughly ignored, looking on as his friend knocked about the whailing boy.

"Put down that beet! It's mi-"  
"_Kolkolkolkol_ " there was a sudden ringing in his ears, one that made the surprised crow jump in fear. Before he could really take off into the sky, Ivan had proceeded to rip out all of his tail feathers. It was just by some miracle that he was able to get into the sky.

"Crow!" the poor scarecrow yelled, rushing over. Granted, by then, the crow had taken to the sky and left his friend there with just some black feathers to remember him by.  
While the scarecrow lamented over his loss, he figured the polish crow wouldn't be back for awhile, the large man in the casual coal over coat was helping up the sniveling lad.

"You," the sudden voice from above him was enough to startle the scarecrow out of his thoughts.

"Y-yes," the doll answered.

"You look familiar to me, so you come with us."  
"Well...I think I am supposed to stay in this field-"

"You come or I rip the straw from your stitching one by one."  
"You can see my stitching?" as he clutched at his green uniform, his face flushing.  
"No, but that can be arranged," as Ivan grabbed the scare crow by the arm, dragging him along.

* * *

Once upon a time there was a very _bountiful_ farmer, or at least that's what everyone said about her. She was very kindhearted but kindness does not always pay the bills. She was held solely responsible for feeding the king's villa on the other side of the expanse. However all of her crops were frequently raided by crows, trolls, fae, and whatever other mythical being that the king's mote of nothingness did nothing to protect her from. She was under alot of stress (and debt). After all, her fields were just outside of the villa's city walls, outside the perimeter of the expanse.

So troubled with the king's unwillingness to protect her, and the very thought that his servents and citizens will starve, her tears in lament were enough to warrent her the aid of the good witch of the north; whom happened to be passing at the time to check on the condition of his insan- _troubled_ father.

"Why are you crying, eh?" rather nervously, especially at the intensity of her tears, "You will tire yourself out..."

"Oh it is horrible! So tragic! He is so unmovable, he will kill them all!"

"He?"

"The king," she sniffed, just starting to calm down as she cried in the dust, "I try. I do. But minions from across the pond and beasts from everywhere take almost everything I grow. And the witch of the South, I don't think he would listen to a poor farmer like me... "

"Unless someone's getting bombed, he rarely listens," the North murmured in regards to his brother. However, as the farmer's tears started up again, he quickly waved his hands.

"Ah! Don't cry, don't cry! I can help you..."

"Oh... I'm sorry, I couldn't ask you. What would I be asking some poor stranger for help," she whined.

She... didn't recognize him? Surely! He was the good witch of the north! -Well, at the very least he wasn't mistaken for the south. The South was just as wicked as his father, granted his view of reality was a touch more solid in comparison. Arthur was just... ugh.  
"...I'm the Good Witch of the North," he sighed, patting her hand and simply helping her out of the dust; the farmer quickly going into an apologetic fit.

There the North created for the farmer a doll, a scarecrow. He would serve as some protection for her fields; however, he was just as kindhearted as the farmer was. At the very least there was someone constantly there to ensure that they did not take every morsel of food...-until.

"Oh! What a poor bird! Who did this to you?" as she happened upon the tussled crow.

"Raiders! Wearing one of Arthur's shiny slippers! And they like took Scarecrow too!"

"Oh dear... this won't do..."

"Scarecrow will fall for any thing," the Polish crow knew that very well and he was concerned. That stranger was horribly suspicious; he very well might have him take all of the vegetables and leave him with none!

"I will ask the inventor for a favor. He is very clever and works for the Wicked Witch of the South. Surely, at the least, he could ask his boss for help."

* * *

"I don't understand why you won't just let me build you something to protect your fields with."

"Scarecrow is very special! He's-"  
"A brainless doll who only manages to hand out your food so that your able to feed the villagers. Thats no a scarecrow, thats a stock broker."

"...What?"  
"No. Katasha," the Estonian inventor declared, turning away from the teary eyed Ukrainian. He was actually in the midst of fine tuning his latest creation; a figure of a cold body was lain out on his work table before him.

"But he was given to me from the witch of the North!" she pleaded.  
"Who?"

"Please, please, please, Eduard? I'll do any thing..."

"_Any thing_?" which was enough to make him turn from finalizing his work.

* * *

"Scarecrow! Scarecrow!" as the Polish crow spiraled out of the sky, completely ecstatic upon returning to the fields," That ditzy farmer manage to get you back? That was fast -Man, I've missed yo-..."

Granted, he was greeted by the rather bemused looking Inventor.

"Your not scarecrow..."

"In exchange for testing Natalibot, she offered me beets," he murmured, adjusting his spectacles; though it wasn't clear if he was talking to the crow or not.

"Beets? Just beets? You don't seem like the type to work for just vegetables," he pecked, figuring that any company out in the field was better then none.

"... Have you _seen _her beets?" turning, rather dreamily, to the crow; who then just looked at him quite perplexed.

"Well, like, whatever lifts your skirt dude..." it didn't quite explain why Eduard was sitting out there...

* * *

"You know, you could have told him no," surely, if Ravis was the scarecrow he would have. Of course, he would only say this while Ivan busied himself with trying to ferment the beets into a suitable beverage.

"Your just made of straw and sticks, surely if he did follow through on his threat it wouldn't hurt."

"I... think I am made of straw and sticks, but, I am told I am made of a lot more," the doll said rather thoughtfully.

"And while I don't think I feel, it is quite horrifying and it is unpleasant to be restuffed."

"You think that's unpleasant?" granted, as his rhetorical question was met with a simple nod he decided to change the subject.

"Well... what do you know about this place?"

"This place? I think that it is not my field."  
"...And that's it? No place we can stay for the night? "

"The night?"  
"Just how much of you is sticks and straw any way?" giving the rather simple scarecrow a skeptical look.

"I would think all of me. But I am told I am made of a lot more," he recited for a second time, smiling at his accomplishment for remembering the adage.

"...Maybe it is good that Ivan is forcing you to come with us. Maybe we stuff your head with a little more then just straw."  
"But it is unpleasant to be restuffed..."

"Alcohol from beet seems French," he grunted, fighting with the vegetables, "I wonder if we return to village if dapper gentleman could do this for us..."  
Ivan, simply, was enjoying himself in this world. He had to trade his boots to the small Asian boy for slippers, but they made him feel as if he was going about his home in house shoes. Everyone was incredibly friendly an behaved as if they had never had any despite with him before. He found that particularly pleasant. Plus he had Ravis, the one he always brought with him, and an utterly simple Toris. All he had to do was train him to make bilini like he liked them and this new world would be perfect. It seemed like nothing could go wrong-

"[Hawk eye mode down, experimental phase incomplete]," a voice whispered in the bushes, logging to herself, automatically starting the on-site decision making algorithm. Neither her creator nor any one else could see or dictate her movements; Eduard didn't get a chance to install the software for this before Katasha 'convinced' him to help her. Besides, the prototype needed testing before he sent it off to the witch of the south any way.

"Natalibot prototype [initializing trial mission, phase 1], " she declared.

She had been tracking their movements ever since she had found them. After doing a flash sweep of the entire field and the area heading south (away from the town as dictated by her programming), she had actually happened upon them. The only one to see her was the scarecrow and she would have grabbed him then. However, Eduward had also failed to program 'retrieval of the scarecrow' as the highest priority. Given no order to her priority list, after finding them Natalibot had just been drifting after them as they traveled across the country side. They had wandered away from field, heading down the road, only stopping to rest. She was also studying their movements an exchanges; the larger gentleman in the slippers and the overcoat, trousers, and suspenders seemed to be leading them. The smaller one in the hoody seemed to be serverant to him. There was no foreseen reason why the larger one had taken the scarecrow but the exchanges between them were...interesting. The larger one seemed to enjoy dragging out the straw from his stitching while he yelled about how unpleasant it was.

No one dictated her movements. It was the first time she was let loose very far from her creator but she understood that that was the intended point of her creation. However, she just found herself simply just sneaking after them. The next algorithm in her programming was to kill them all and bring back the scarecrow (or he'll just follow her back having nothing else to do, Eduard figured). But, somewhere in that algorithm, she couldn't find the next step after finding them. She should kill them eventually, but... wasn't there something in between those steps? Or did she simply _enjoy_ watching them interact with one anot-

"Who is there?" as Ivan rose, hearing the soft humming of machinery fairly close by.

"-Duard? Are you here too?" his expression brightening at the prospect as he approached the bushes. Granted, the surprised yell there after was enough to interupt the conversation between the Latvian and the simplified Lithuanian.

"He is in trouble!" as the scarecrow lunged from his seat.  
"Ivan? Who could possibly-" granted, it didn't take Ravis too long to surmise who it could be to make the unmovable wall yell like that.

"Get away! Get away! You sneak on me and watch me again! You can't be near me when you do that!" as he quickly backed up, retreating an nearly tumbling backwards over the pile of vegetables. Such an interesting and fascinating reaction from the larger one, Natalibot couldn't help but close the gap in between them. It was actually extremely unexpected from the exchanges she had been studying before, so much so that she felt a need to document it more.

"Your scare him, don't you see that?" as the scarecrow came in between them, the automated response from the droid nearly causing her to bump into the wall of sticks and straw.  
"I'm scaring him? Fear? The little one seems more capable of that."

Actually, Latvia still was quite frightened of her. The droid was dressed in a black uniform dress with violet trim, long white hair, and a metallic ribbon that bridged over the crown of her head, probably some sort of communicator. Granted, the issue was less the rather intimidating uniform then it was the fact her gloved hands seemed to be bladed. And the fact that she seemed to be armed in other places as well. But it seemed she was less fascinated with the trembling Balkan then the tumbling Soviet.

"You don't fear me?" turning to the scarecrow, who notably drew a null as far as capabilities or weaknesses.  
"I am just made of sticks and straw, but I am told I am made of much more," he recited.

Granted as the droid did a scan on him, numbers and figures seeming to flash over metallic blue eyes, a brow furrowed.

"...72% straw, 22% wood material, 8.1111111% fiber pulp material, approximate... What else is there?"

"-Perhaps if Ivan gave you his heart, you could see the other thing there," Ravis mused, seeing Ivan so startled for once was actually quite pleasing, it wouldn't hurt to see it more often. Using Lithuania as a method for distracting his estranged sister wasn't any thing new either, it was only in that strange place could he ever make that sort of suggestion and not have to deal with the consequences later.

"Heart? Organ that pumps blood... -Logic dictates that if Natalibot ceases human assigned as Ivan's heart, he will die. Alternative algorithm tree received, recalculating-"  
Cursed Ravis! If he weren't from the brink of sheer terror, Ivan CERTAINLY would have considered throttling the boy to an inch of his life in revenge!  
"Ah ha ah ha! Natalibot! You do not need Ivan's heart, da? We go get another's heart and you will understand everything in the world! Sounds good, yes?" finally getting to his feet from the fall.  
"-Understand...? Everything?" looking to him as she processed this for a moment or so.

"... Closest location of heart in current traveling party's direction is 3.2 feet away," slowly turning towards Ravis, who was standing by the golden road, as her expression seemed to darken.

"M-me?" Eyes widening in fear, Ravis quickly got out of the way, which quickly caused the droid to drop her current calculated algorithm and recalculate another.  
"-Recalculating" which was probably the first time such a phrase allowed the boy to breath in so deeply, "... 240.62 miles away approximate. Location known as Oz city. Approximate time of arrival, 4 days from now."

"4 days?"  
"Da! 4 days! Whatever you say Natalibot! Lets go!" ceasing Ravis, quite enthusiastically by the neck, as he started off in that direction. With Natalibot and the scarecrow in toe, they were off to the city of Oz; mostly so that Ivan could keep his heart. Not even in this strange place could he have a nice normal sister who dated others instead of obsess over him; not everything could be perfect.

* * *

**Author's Notes**: Again. I'm a little unsure of the whole story with the farmer, the inventor, Lithuania and even Canada showing up. Then again, I am highly against gratuitous fan service that does nothing for the story. So is it adding dynamic? Or is it just random author rant? (I would love to come off as not as ranty as possible xD)

Jeeze this chapter was extra long (in fact, more than twice as long as the first) ... And I believe Eduard/Inventor is out in the garden because Katerina/Farmer told him to meet her out in the field and he could take as many beets as he wanted. Apparently, he heard something else? I believe large breasts interfere with the thought processes and hearing processes of even the most intelligent men. -Or thats what everyone tells me.


	3. Chapter 3: The Wicked Witch of the South

**Summary:** Ivan and Ravis find themselves in the land of Oz. Despite the random musical numbers and the technicolor, Ivan seems to be making himself at home. Can Ravis return to the real world? Or will Ivan force him to stay in this place as well?

**Disclaimer:** Norway is... pretty much the same, America is WICKED, Thailand an Greece are lazy (isn't that the same?), and other crapalistic shtuff. If you can open your mind, then you should be fine. (Opening the mind is usually required to enjoy Hetalia any way). Hetalia, of course, does not belong to me. Again, you favorite characters may be warped out of their usual niches. However, I still think they're still pretty IC.

**Author's Notes:** Lol, Godfather rip. What is wrong with me?

Dedicated to Molly, who I think still fails to realize that I'm just as much as a hopeless Hetalia fan-nerd as she is. xD

* * *

**Chapter 3:** Enter the Wicked Witch of the South

He had harnessed the powerful winds of the North, the vast oceans of the south; the eastern sky and the western gates, the strait of the west. He was the Wicked Witch of the South.

While his powers weren't as mind altering as King Arthur, the witch of the west, the South was still fairly powerful and just as wicked. He established proxies and ruled Oz, not in cruelty per say, but with justice; specifically, _his _justice and thats what made him so wicked.

It was only recently that his powers had been challenged by the arrival of a stranger and it was quite troubling. Other than his invisible brother to the North he had gone mostly unopposed; all of the more powerful beings around him were established by him. Further, the Witch King in the West had no interest in establishing his reach beyond that bottomless gorge. Something about the veins of fae magic being the strongest there or some sort of nonsense. The South had very little interest in what went on across the pond any way. It was just farmland and singing natives so he was told.

Therefore, when two natives from across the pond came to visit him, he was utterly uninterested.  
"Sir, they want to speak with you," said the winds of the North, in monotone. Consequently, the winds of the North were strong, but not all that imposing.

"I'm busy," he growled, black gloved hands in the midst of constructing a card house.

"One of them claims he works for you as an inventor," still no interest, "He says someone may have stolen a prototype from him," that got one hackle up, but by then the winds of the North was getting irritated and flustered with the game, "-He _says_ that the prototype was for some sort of assassination droid that he was developing for _you._"

"Whaaaaaat?" educing a double take, but at least the irritated Troll whisperer FINALLY garnished his full attention.

"Well just don't stand there! Send him in! Honestly if someone is so willing to steal something that cool from him that person's no good. Besides, it sounds like he was originally making it for me! And _no one_ steals from _me_," he declared cheerfully. The winds of the north rolled his eyes as he beckoned the servants to send them in.

He was seated at a table, which was covered in a cloth and drenched in mood lighting. The only thing illuminating the scene were dulled house lights and a melting candle in the middle of the clothed table. The table was enclosed on either side, it was a booth big enough to seat 4 but the business man in the Italian styled, double breasted, smokey suit reserved one side for himself. Blond hair was slicked back, except for one rude piece that jutted upward defiantly at his crown; any more and it would have been a shark fin. Half framed glasses glowed in the fire light, seeming to take in the two country bumpkins as they herded themselves into the fine restaurant.

"Have a seat," he motioned with a smile. One seemed to have just come out from the field, the dust was still on her overalls. The other seemed to have been a shell of a man, who had just recently escaped his rudimentary workshop; the sweat from slaving over a crude cauldron still plastered on his brow, the South had imagined.

They had to wait for the Wicked Witch to take interest in seeing them and THEN they had to wait for him to conger up this get up to see them in! An Italian was dropping a huge plate of spaghetti before the rather beautiful farmer woman, but as she tried to share the massive plate of angel hair with her companion, the Italian quickly buffered her intent; this was the first meal!

"O-oh, sorry..."  
"I'll bring out his pasta too, don't worry," bright cheery smile as he quickly scampered away.

-Regardless, the either of the country bumpkins held expressions varying degrees of exhaustion and exasperation.

"So, what are we here for?" the inventor inquired after a few moments where it seemed the South was losing himself in the atmosphere.

"You came here to speak with me, remember?" he said in rather hushed tones, his hands before him, "You've lost something of mine?"  
"-Right," a brow rising, was this whole scene even necessary?  
"Some outsiders, we think, stole my Natalibot prototype," the inventor explained, "I activated her and actually sent her to get rid of them since it's confirmed that these same outsiders killed the Wicked Witch of the West-"

"Killed the West?" the South repeated, his expression darkening. How could any one kill Arthur? Maybe, he was getting decrepit old and weak... -Regardless, avenging his death was in order as well as establishing some order to take his place. Perhaps the Strait...-

He had beckoned for the inventor to continue, though the Estonian had nearly jumped the gun and done it on his own, " -Yes, the West. Any way, that was a few days ago and she has not returned."

"And what about Scarecrow?" the Ukrainian pipped in while twisting her angel hair on a fork.

"-Yes, and they stole her scarecrow as well," in an exasperated murmur , rolling his eyes, "Any way, if these people could kill the West and somehow deactivate a top of the line assassination droid then they must be dangerous. We came here to enlist your aid."

"Well I can't have someone going around stealing scarecrows from fair, hardworking maidens," which was enough to inspire a blush from the farmer, something the South sought out, "And I can't have someone powerful enough- No, with the _gall_ to kill the West and still walk about as if it's okay," he declared, grinning at them both as his expression slowly began to darken like an incoming storm.

"It'll be taken care of."

* * *

"I like this place, don't you Ravis?" as they walked along the shore line.

"Russia, are you sure your even still trying to go home?" he inquired, sheepishly; Ivan still had him by the neck even as they had been walking all day. The golden road allowed people to travel long distances in a short time. Where it would have taken them a week to get across the farm lands, it only took them a day just to get to the water way separating them from the more urban Oz district. However, because they had no boat, their little adventure had been slowed to a crawl.

"I like this place, Ravis," plaintively ignoring his question, other than answering by squeezing his neck and making the rest of the color drain from his face.

"After we get Natalibot a heart, I think we go back to village where little asians dance and sing. Make them sing about peddler kissing maiden under groves of rye,"* he smiled as Ravis began to squirm a bit under his grasp.

The other two in the party were simply following along. The scarecrow was actually concerned for the small trembling lad, since Ivan has had him by the neck every since they left the fields. However, it seemed he was used to such things since he walked normally despite the awkward position Ivan would occasionally force him into. Along with Natalibot, they both found it quite perplexing but Natalibot found it more fascinating. She would understand all once she had a heart? She actually figured she would. Then she would understand why Ivan treated Ravis, and even scarecrow, so... physically?

"There, see? There is boat waiting for us on the shore," Ivan motioned as Ravis began to waiver, "We take the boat and go to Oz. Then you will stop asking about home for awhile, da?" he declared. However, since Ravis was having a near out of body experience and the rest either lacked the facilities for thought or independent notion, Ivan's notion to board the ship had gone unchallenged. Upon the 4 of them boarding the golden ship docked by the shore, Ivan had taken a look around for the owners of the ship. Granted, even if the owners were any where to be seen Ivan probably would have taken care of them and took the ship any way. It wasn't pirating if it wasn't at sea, right? However, as Natalibot took her spot at the helm and scarecrow helped Ivan cast off, the golden ferry wasn't as empty as anticipated.

* * *

The hypnotic rocking of the ship would be enough to put some others to sleep. For the Siamese ferryman, in combination with his very rich meals, it usually did the trick; not like he ever had much trouble sleeping any way. However, for the Greek, the rocking of the ship at such an hour was enough to startle him awake.

"What on earth- Siam! Siam~! " he called out, jerking up from his sleeping spot.

The Greek was the sole proprietor of the ship. However, since his rival always loved to meddle in his affairs, Siam jointly owned the ship and quite quickly took over when ever the silver Turkish ferry came near. However since the Turk was so friendly with Siam, possibly because they shared so much in common, it wasn't uncommon for Siam to allow him to board the ship and they visit awhile. It would be highly unusual of Siam if he didn't.

That particular evening, the two were doing some routine repairs on the opposite shore. However, since neither the Greek nor the Siamese ferryman was for any sort of activity so shortly after lunch, the either of them had separated themselves on the joint farce to actually do work. In reality they both had hidden themselves from each other to take a nap.

Reduced to only in his undergarments in the heat of the boiler room, the Greek awoke to the huffing of the ferry's boiler. Someone had over looked him sleeping behind the wood piles, possibly Siam, and had gotten the engine up, running, an they were out on the water! What on earth had possessed him to so such a thing? However, as the under dressed Greek rushed up onto the deck from the bowls of the ship, the four characters were gawking at him.

A very large very intimidating man, who had stripped down to his slacks and dress shirt with flailing suspenders had been sitting on the deck enjoying the sunshine. Another fair looking lad, who now had the rose colored hoody tied about his narrow waist, was gawking from where he was sitting next to a green uniformed doll, a broad brimmed cap and showers of brown hair mostly hiding his expression. The Greek couldn't even see the woman in the hot looking black uniform guiding his ferry up on the higher deck.

"Oh! Hello," the Russian perked up as the Latvian took up hiding behind the Lithuanian doll. In reality, when Latvia was ordered to feed the boiler, ha seen the nearlly naked sleeping man, but in't say any thing in preference to avoid Russia for awhile. At this point, though, he was hoping his calculated overlook wouldn't warrant the Russian hanging from his neck again.  
"W-what time is it?" in a painfully slow stupor, assumed to be from just waking up but Greece always seemed to be in that state usually.  
"...Excuse me?"  
"What time is it!" looking rather mortified. Granted, before either of them could continue the exchange (which was probably going no where any way), there was a scream from the navigation booth up on the elevated deck.

Charged, both Ivan and the Greek went racing up to the hull, only to find the dark haired asian held at gun point, his glasses nearly fogged up in alarm.

"I j-just wanted to find out the pretty lady's name..."

"This strange man was laying on the floor staring up at me! When I first found him, I assumed him to dead or dying."

"W-what? I just had too much _Phat Thai_!"*

"You had fallen sleep?" the Greek's tone darkening as the Siamese ferryman laughed.

"By the looks of it, you had too," in his defense, "Looks like we've been boarded..."

"We are heading to the City of Oz. You will take us there, da?" as Ivan took it upon himself to ease the barrel of the gun from Siam's face.

Granted, as Ivan begins working out a deal with the ferrymen (even though they had already taken their ship and the ferrymen really had no choice in the matter), the Greek was distracted by another ship quickly encroaching the horizon and coming upon them like a flash of lightening.

"Alo, Siam! It is odd to see you out at such an hour!" yelled the turk, just noticed by the others on the elevated deck from the Greek's gawking. Granted, the impending conversation via yelling from deck to deck was abruptly halted as the Turk caught sight of the nearly naked Greek. A grin sprawling from underneath the traditional half mask, the silver ship went rushing in, smashing into the golden one and knocking most of those on either deck to the boards.  
"YOUR SHIP SHALL BE MINE!"  
"Now look at what you did..." the Greek groaned as he arose, the Russian looking quite perplexed.

* * *

"I apologize for my stupid rival's greeting to you all," as the Turk sat upon the deck of the golden ship, grinning at the four seated before them. He was also notably sitting on the Greek, who had his hands bound and was already quite subdued looking to begin with since he had shown up on the scene in nothing but his undergarments.

"Since you are heading into the city, I will gladly help you get there. But for his ugly behavior, I must invite you over to my ferry for turkish delight and ashure."

"Ashure...?" as Ivan's eyes lit up. Noah's Pudding, a food Turkey greedily harbored to himself, he could have never dreamed that the state who usually shunned him would offer it to him. Granted, before the four really could relish in infamous Turkish hospitality, the gilded flotilla of two an the rather noisy Greek-Turk exchange that ensued had captured the attention of another rather intimidating ship.

A cold wind blew, to the dismay of the naked Greek, one that Ivan found more familiar. The war ship, on of the Wicked Witch of the South's, came upon them so quickly that they hadn't even seen it coming over the horizon. The troll whisperer was sitting up in it's sails, guiding it along effortlessly as cold blue eyes easily spotte the two shining ferries.

Granted, as the characters sitting on the deck came into view, the owner of the ship appeared on it's edge; a rather cheerful and warm looking Spaniard decked down in a rather impressive double breasted coat with the sharpened collars. However, his expression upon spotting his bounty had broiled into something more sinister.

"You four are under arrest for the murder of the west!" he declared, the majority of those on the ship mearly gawking at them.

"Wait, your murdered The West?" Siam interjected, even the Turk and the indisposed Greek gave the four a wild look.

Needless to say, Ivan would not be getting to try any Turkish Delight that evening.

* * *

**Author's Notes: **_"...Make them sing about peddler kissing maiden under groves of rye..."*_: Reference to Korobeiniki (tetris song). Yes, Ivan, in your world of awesome you would make all the Asians sing the tetris song.

Siam- Thailand! Honestly, he and Greece are kinhood spirits. Why wouldn't you expect Thailand to fall asleep, Greece?

_"W-what? I just had too much Phat Thai!"_*: Rice noodles, usually fried, with peanuts, meat, shrimp, and other goodies. It's really good, and in the west, often coma educing. *-* It is also Thailand's national food.

Sorry if this chapter felt rushed. xP I planned for it to be more awesome, but meh~. Perhaps I'll build on it later? Comments, critque and feeback GREATLY appreciated, and make a better story.


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